When my youngest son was a baby, I was teaching first grade at an elementary school in Mahwah, NJ. I loved working but also loved the idea of staying home, but I could not afford to. The Deborah Koenig Early Childhood Center at JCC Rockland did not yet exist, and the only options were a full time nanny, a chain brand daycare or family care (multiple children of various ages being cared for in one person’s home). I would not even look at the chains because they felt too industrial or stark for me, and the full time nanny was out of our budget as well. I found a family program run by a woman and whose two young adult daughters were the other caregivers. They were warm and loving, and fun and creative. I formed a close knit, trusting relationship with all of them, and this was the beginning of what I knew I would always expect from any place I chose in the future to take care of my child.
I had a second child the following year, and sadly, I could not afford to send two children to this program. I was not interested in an au pair or live-in, so the only other option was the chain daycare. Financially, I would be working to send my children to daycare, and one that I was not even happy about. So I stayed home with my two boys.
When they were 3 and 2 years old, I wanted them to start nursery school. I had so many wants and needs, along with the emotions of my babies going off to “school” and not being by my side. Furthermore, I had such high standards of what a caregiver, as well as a relationship with that caregiver, should look like.
I sent them to a Jewish nursery school at a local synagogue. It was a small program with a part time program for 2’s and one or two classes of 3’s and 4’s. The day was 9:30-12 or 12:30, with the possibility of extending to 2:30 in the 4 year old class. They learned about the Jewish holidays, they celebrated Shabbat in the classroom, and my sons came home with “Shabbat in a Bag” each Friday. The director knew all of the parents by first names and the teachers were constantly telling me special things they did in the classrooms. I loved it, my children loved it, and I met those who would eventually become my best friends.
Fast forward to my third child in Kindergarten, and I was finally able to go back to work. In 2014, the DKECC was opening its doors for the first time and I accepted the position of preschool / preKindergarten teacher, thinking I would ultimately go back to teaching in the public school system. DKECC had 3 classrooms (infants, toddlers and preschool) in one hallway downstairs. We were small and knew all the children in the entire school, and all the children knew us. Our first whole school Thanksgiving Feast was in what is now the Early Care Late Care room, sitting at about 3 tables and with one baby in someone’s lap. It felt so intimate, and it felt like that family care program I sent my children to, but instead of in the downstairs of a house, it was in one long hallway.
I realized very quickly I did not want to go back to the public school system. Originally, I was only working 10 months and by October I said I would work over the summer. And by the winter, I decided I was not returning to the public school system. This was my home.
In 2015, we more than doubled in size to 7 classrooms, and the following year went to 10. However, it still felt “small” to me. I was meeting all the new families joining and knew everyone’s names. I knew all the children and what their unique personalities were like. I enjoyed building relationships with the staff and helping the teachers get what they needed behind the scenes. I eventually became Assistant Director, and my relationship building with the parents went to another level. I was now interacting daily with parents of children of all ages, helping them navigate parenting questions, health questions, acting as an advocate for their children regarding special services, and connecting with them on a deeper level.
I walk these halls every day, vowing to keep the feeling of the small family center and nursery school my own children attended, as well as the special intimate environment we had when it was just 18 children. One of my favorite moments is when a child who has been here for two years but has not yet spoken my name, walks by my office, turns and smiles and says, “Hi Wachel” or “Wacha”, or any other iteration they can come up with. They know my name before I even realize it. Or when I see 3 and 4 year olds walking by the infants and waddler classes and children who do NOT have siblings here are running up to babies and saying hi, using their names. That is when I realize I am doing something right, I am succeeding in my mission.
First Thanksgiving at Deborah Koenig Early Childhood Center in 2014
